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Conflict Management and Leadership for Managers

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Conflict Management for Managers equips leaders with skills to handle workplace conflicts. Susan S. Raines provides practical advice for effective communication, team building, and relationship management.

Image courtesy of interviewee. December 5, 2023

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Generating Workspace...

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The speaker discusses the significant changes in the workplace since the release of their last book in 2019. They highlight the impact of remote and hybrid work, generational conflicts, and a tight labor market on organizational dynamics. Throughout their consulting experience across various sectors, a common struggle observed is teams lacking a unified vision for moving forward.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of conflict management within organizations by advocating for the development of systems and cultures that promote constructive behavior and collaboration. They draw parallels between conflict in organizations and air quality, suggesting that how conflict is managed can vastly affect workplace environment.

Since 2019, the speaker notes a shift toward leaders being more adaptable in their roles—balancing between being a manager and a leader. This video video adaptability is vital for creating inclusive workplaces that celebrate diversity in a genuine way, rather than superficial gestures. The talk also addresses generational shifts in the workforce, stressing the need for managers to understand their employees on a personal level to foster engagement and satisfaction.

They highlight the competitive advantage organizations gain by effectively addressing conflict and supporting employee needs, particularly in a labor market characterized by high turnover and competition for talent. The speaker stresses the importance of creating a positive company culture where all employees feel they can thrive and bring their authentic selves to work.

The discussion concludes with a focus on the responsibility of leaders to navigate challenges while protecting their brand. The speaker underscores that leadership reputation is built in crises and emphasizes the importance of creating transparent and inclusive environments that empower employees to speak out against misconduct. Ultimately, the speaker calls for organizations to proactively engage in fostering better workplace dynamics to navigate the complexities of modern work and retain talent effectively.

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X-TIMESTAMP-MAP:LOCAL=00:00:00.000,MPEGTS=900000

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So my last book came out in 2019,

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and I wanna almost check it out

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because the world of work has completely changed since 2019.

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Uh, we, in fact, there's more things

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that have changed than have stayed the same.

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So I've been doing consulting with big

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and small organizations from the International Monetary Fund

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to American Family Physicians and everything in between.

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And, usually we're, and sports teams and,

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and entertainment groups.

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And what I typically notice is that,

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teams don't, they struggle to have, unified vision

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for how they wanna move forward.

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And they all might know where they wanna end up,

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but they all have different ideas about how to get there.

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And since 2019, we've got remote work and,

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and hybrid work.

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We've got generational conflict

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like we've never seen before.

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We have a tight labor market,

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which has turned on its head a lot of things

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that we thought we knew about management leadership.

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And so, in the work I've been doing with organizations

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and really, really this has been developed from the ground

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up because I've developed, processes

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and tools to work through conflict

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and have teams, realize better outcomes.

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Um, and that's happened.

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Every organization has some similar conflicts

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and some different conflicts.

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So, a lot of these conflicts

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and problems are different since, since before 2019.

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So that's why I've, I've written this book

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and it has a bigger focus on managers as leaders,

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and kind of the difference when

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to be a leader, when to be a manager.

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'cause sometimes you have to go back

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and forth between those roles,

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depending upon the room you're in and whether

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or not you're the, the person in the middle,

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the top or the bottom in that room.

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Um, and so, so it's really focused on how to respond

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as a leader manager with the current challenges we have.

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People think about conflict management in organizations.

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Things like, if you have an employment dispute,

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you might go to arbitration if you're a union member,

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or you might use mediation,

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or you might have some other way to kind of formally,

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informally address conflict.

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But what we're really talking about in conflict management

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in organizations is how do we create, systems, processes

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and cultures that encourage good behavior

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and encourage people working

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through their differences collaboratively?

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'cause conflict is just part of human life.

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I say it's like air, the air quality can be good,

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or the air quality can be bad, but there's always air.

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So the conflict is like

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that conflict can make your environment positive

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or negative depending on how you handle it.

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So what we're trying to do is get people

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to see the positive, potential in conflict

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because conflict brings change and change brings conflict.

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They go together. So we're seeing a lot more conflict in

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organizations in the last few years

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because we've seen such rapid changes.

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And the companies that have decided to kind of get on board

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and not be conflict avoidant and figure out

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and teach their people how to constructively

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make decisions together and

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constructively get through differences.

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Those companies have a competitive advantage.

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They retain employees, they keep their employees engaged.

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They're more innovative

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Because people share ideas.

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So really, conflict management is how

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to get the be in organizations.

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It's about how to get the best out of every employee so

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that you can achieve that mission together

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and just have a more joyful, wonderful environment

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where people get up and they're happy to be there.

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Um, which is possible, you know,

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it really can happen if you're doing it right.

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And I have to say, my son, I,

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I mentioned him in the acknowledgements.

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I have a son that's in college now, and he would come home

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and say, we would talk a lot about the

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environment he's working in.

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Um, and he has been working in a

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majority minority environment,

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and he has learned a lot through that.

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And in the work I've been doing, I've been working in a lot

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of organizations where just

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because of generational change,

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the leaders at the highest level

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and the managers at the highest level don't always

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demographically match the people they are managing.

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And at the same time, sometimes we'll have a 30 year old

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manager supervising 65 year old employees, right?

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So we're seeing just all kinds of generational change

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and diversity change and what really matters here,

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what we wanna get past is this kind of silliness

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of tolerating diversity.

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And, and these kind of, let's have a Cinco de Mayo party,

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you know, like struggle.

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I struggle with that. What we want instead

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is we want organizations that let everyone

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be themselves at work.

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If you're gay, you're gay, bring it.

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You know, if you've got three kids,

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and that's part of what you talk about at work, great.

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If you know whatever it is, right?

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If you have some interesting hobby that you want

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to talk about, whatever it is your background,

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whether you are, an immigrant

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or you were born here, you know,

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and your family's been here for generations, whatever it is,

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you bring your whole identity to work.

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And we in, we're interested in really getting

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to know each other as human beings and as individuals.

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And one of the parts of the research

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for this book is I've asked hundreds of managers,

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what they think makes them a good manager or not.

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And then I've asked thousands

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of employees the same question, and there is a mismatch.

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So about, 53% of managers say they are above average

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and only 8%

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of employees rate their manager as above average.

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This is called the Dunning Kruger effect.

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There's actually a word for it.

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We are not objective in our own performance.

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So one of the things we wanna do is make sure

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that managers are getting to know their employees

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on an individual level.

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And then instead of treating everyone the same,

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you are literally talking to employees

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and negotiating that relationship.

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What is it you need? Do you need flexibility

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in your work schedule right now?

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Do you need professional development? Do you wanna move up?

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What is it each employee wants?

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Sometimes somebody wants to come clock in eight hours,

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do their job and go home.

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And as long as they're doing it, okay,

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that's okay too, right?

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Maybe that's where they're at right now.

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So diversity is really about

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helping employees reach their full potential and,

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and connecting with them on a human level.

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And managers who do

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that have a huge competitive advantage right now in this

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tight labor market where we have the great resignation

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and where people and companies are competing for labor.

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And if I can can say this, I recently worked

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with a unnamed multinational corporation

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that has a huge problem attracting enough talent

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in a very competitive scientific industry

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where there's a shortage of people

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that do what they need them to do.

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And what they found is they have a real problem attracting

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and keeping people who are not kind of from

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what we'll call traditionally empowered groups,

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and they realize they're actually not getting the best

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talent and they have jobs that are going unfilled

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because it's their company has not been perceived

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as a destination employer or one that is, welcoming.

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And interestingly, we've done some research

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that indicates in companies that are score,

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that score high on levels of diversity,

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equity, and inclusion.

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Even traditionally, empowered groups, we'll say,

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even older white men, for example,

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are happier in those organizations

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because they're kinder, more personable organizations,

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they're more humane organizations.

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So we're learning, it's,

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it's not like a a zero sum or a trade off.

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Um, really embracing the, the humanness of workers is part

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of the future workplace.

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And that is a struggle for folks who've been, I'm 54,

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so when I started to work, we were, I was glad to have

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that job 'cause I came of age in a recession, right?

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It's very different. If you come of age in a,

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in a time when there's a shortage of employees,

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especially educated employees,

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you have much more bargaining power.

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And instead of arguing about how things should be

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or how employees should look or act

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or behave, we really need to kind of figure out,

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how do we make sure that this is a place

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where everybody feels they can belong and contribute.

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So I wanna say, regardless of how work gets done

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and with technology,

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whether folks are working fully face-to-face,

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or they're hybrid or they're remote,

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or there's, all kinds of, first of all,

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we wanna be co I would just, I'm gonna speak for companies.

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Companies should want to be the kind of company

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that in general their employees say good things about.

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And that one, one of the kind of important questions

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that we ask on employee surveys is,

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would you recommend this as a place to work?

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And if too many of your employees say, no,

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that's not about them, that's about you.

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So what we want to do, of course you can't please everybody,

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and you'll always have,

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there's a chapter in the book

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on working with difficult people.

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So you may have the, you know, the person who has

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that dark cloud around them wherever they go,

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and my goodness, everything's terrible.

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There's certain ways to work with those people

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and certain things they're really, really good at.

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Like, finding errors and auditing,

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or being, you know, you're, you're

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troubleshooter, they're great at that.

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So we want to, make sure that folks, regardless of

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how they're working and the role of technology in their job,

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again, they're able to feel like they're

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fully engaged in the team.

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And ironically, allegations

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and complaints, formal complaints,

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with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission went up,

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complaints of bullying

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and harassment went up during the Covid pandemic,

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which is ironic 'cause

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for a while everybody was working online.

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So how does it happen? Well, it turns out,

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when people are kind of, of isolated from each other

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and your boss is just calling you on the phone

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or zooming you, and if it's not being recorded,

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they can say things they would never say

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in a face-to-face environment.

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And people might also have, you know, they're,

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they were a little impatient and tired

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and overwhelmed and stressed.

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And again, that doesn't lead to great behavior.

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But we wanna be thoughtful about

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how do we actually create a culture that's bully proof,

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that's predator proof, where we have company-wide

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and leader set this tone company-wide expectations

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for how people will behave.

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And then we support their skills so

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that they can actually do it right?

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This is how we expect you to behave.

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And if you don't have those skills yet, social skills

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or other skills management skills will help support you.

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In the end. Everyone in the company needs to feel empowered

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to speak out when someone is bullying, harassing,

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or behaving inappropriately.

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Or it could just be my perception that that's

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how this person is treating me.

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But let's, let's have some way

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to sit down and work through that.

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Set some realistic and healthy boundaries,

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and then make sure that predators

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who do come into organizations,

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and I would say they're overrepresented statistically

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in the executive suite.

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Um, so maybe three to 5% of the,

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of the population would be considered kind of predatory.

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But in the executive suite, it's more like 12 to 15%.

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So the way to, fix that is just

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to make sure there's a lot of transparency

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and that no one is above the law.

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No one is above our expectations for appropriate treatment.

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Because if a predator can't get away

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with their bad behavior, they leave

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or they stop behaving that way.

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Since 2019, we've had so many things

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that happened that changed the world of work.

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Yes, the pandemic, but also the great recession.

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We've had a huge blossoming blossoming of L-G-B-T-Q,

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rights and in the workplace,

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those are coming into the workplace.

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We've had more recognition of neurodiversity,

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and that's what that's here to stay.

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And then how we, how we, again, get the, the best out

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of folks and help them reach their highest potential

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and use their unique talents, you know, appropriately.

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So we've had a lot of changes in the workplace that,

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that change how managers have to manage

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and change how companies kind of make space and,

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and, work with folks flexibility for folks

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who might need it at certain phases of their lives.

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Um, and, and recognizing that, so I wanna say that leaders

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and managers make their reputations not in the good times,

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but they make their reputations in the disasters, right?

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Nobody hears the name of a captain who ship doesn't sink,

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they only hear the name of a captain who ship sinks, right?

11:26.215 --> 11:28.915
Um, they also, you know, think of solely the, the movie,

11:28.915 --> 11:31.235
the airplane pilot guy who landed his, his,

11:31.325 --> 11:33.395
plane on the Potomac and everyone survived, right?

11:33.495 --> 11:36.155
The captain who steers their ship

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through a difficult circumstance becomes really

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well known and makes their brand.

11:40.575 --> 11:42.475
So what I try to do when I coach leaders

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and managers is to think about, you know, instead of

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what we call externalizing blame, instead of blaming,

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the supply chain problem, the great recession,

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all these things for my not reaching, reaching,

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meeting decent goals or not, not, achieving my mission.

11:56.875 --> 12:00.005
Instead we wanna say, what can you control? What can't?

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How can you take this situation

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and turn it to your competitive advantage?

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We can become a company where people want to work.

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When there's a, a shortage of employees,

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we can become a company where people grow

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and we develop the people we have into the

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people we need, right?

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So there's all kinds of ways that this can be turned around.

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And these challenges can become a competitive advantage

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for leaders and managers who stake their careers

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and reputations on their behavior in these difficult times.

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And for companies who have brand image around that,

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who are those employees?

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That employers that people want to go to?

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The law tends to, and I'm not a lawyer

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and I can't give legal advice as we all must say.

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Um, I will say this though,

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and I I'm a mediator, so I've worked in court situations

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and I have mediated almost 20,000 disputes related

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to employment, complaints, accident injury,

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workplace accidents, all kinds of, you know, kind of,

12:50.165 --> 12:51.605
cases that arise in the workplace.

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Um, class action, other things.

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I would say the law sets the minimum for

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what companies have to do.

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But right now, that's a little bit irrelevant.

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And I say that, I don't mean that we don't

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have to follow the law, of course we do.

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I mean, if you're gonna succeed, you have to go above

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and beyond the law, right?

13:07.665 --> 13:10.455
Right. Now the law says you don't have to give your

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employees coverage for certain kinds

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of medical care if it's against your values.

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But if you wanna attract employees from all different kinds

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of folks, maybe you, in a very practical

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way, you might do that, right?

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So we're seeing companies who, who do things like give,

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benefits to people who are, who are trying to adopt,

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that's not required or,

13:30.375 --> 13:32.675
or scholarships for your kids to help them go to college

13:32.815 --> 13:34.315
or for your own higher education.

13:34.495 --> 13:38.355
That's not required. But again, depending upon the kind

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of employee you're trying to attack, attract

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and retain, it may be something you wanna consider.

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So I would say at a minimum,

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however, we, I would just go back to law.

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We see companies with huge scandals.

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Think of Wells Fargo

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where they were opening accounts secretly.

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Think of a while back when the Uber CEO got ousted from a

13:55.595 --> 13:58.235
revolution from below, because he was sexually

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harassing many, many people.

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Those organizations knew they had a problem

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and they didn't fix it over and over

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and over and their brand.

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To this day, I know people who won't.

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And, and I, I don't mean to malign any particular company.

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There are people who won't buy certain products

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or services based on a scandal

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that might have happened 10 or 15 or 20 years ago.

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So those things linger.

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So we wanna make sure that we have systems in place

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to respond effectively, protect our brand,

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and protect our people.

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Because again, it's you gotta

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put your money where your mouth is.

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And companies think in the short term,

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they're losing money if they let go

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of a key employee who's behaving badly,

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if they can't get their behavior to change,

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but they're really not, when they really do the accounting

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and they look at how many other people quit or file lawsuits

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or damage the brand,

14:46.135 --> 14:47.235
or go on social media,

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if you really take those things into account, then,

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then we're really saving money by being proactive

14:54.175 --> 14:56.555
and shaping the incentive structures in the organization

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to guide behavior in a positive direction.

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